rage Iv

HIGH GEAR/SEPTEMBER 1978

A BLACK AND WHITE RELATIONSHIP.....

IT'S LIKE COMING OUT....ALL OVER AGAIN

For those of us "In The Life" who are so disposed, there comes a time of self-reckoning whereby we take the bull-by the horns and "declare ourselves" openly-OUT OF THE CLOSET -to our families, friends, and society in general.

Thus, with the danger of the "closet door" OPEN, we can take time to reassess our friends, family and society as they NOW "see" us as well as how we "see" them. The judgment is more often than not simply acceptance (if not tolerance) or rejection/ostracism-a simple matter of "black and white" with little gray inbetween.

There seemingly is but one way to "go" and interact with ourfellow human -be she of our gentle persuasion or not -and that is a direct path without too much unwarranted nor unsuspecting conflicts.

But, "that's-the-catch" to this simple "Black and White" affair!!!

For, alas, the "Catch-22" lies in the distinct possibility that once having opened and closed that wretched "closet door" and teft it behind "for good" there still looms the realization that one must undergo the entire painstaking and heart-rendering ordeal "all over again."

What is this "Catch-22" in this simply-defined "Black and White affair?

The plain fact of the matter -literally rather than figuratively --

is simply "Black and "White." One has had the "misfortune" (???) of chosing as his "Friend" one from the most maligned minority next to our own: A White with a Black lover.

I personally, have undergone such an experience, and would like to share some of my own feelings and actions as well as the reactions of others for the sake of any who might ever contemplate such a relationship.

I must admit that-despite reserved. personal loathing for stereotypes and "aren't-they-alllike-that" attitudes towards those not in step with our tune--! can not resist the "temptation" to draw parallels between couples in 'both gay and straight life. The mere obeisance to these mores and folkways could give further credence to this article.

In any given situation we must be for all intents and purposes be as logical, practical and rational' with respect to the REALTY of the particular situation as humanly (and humanely) possible. For, firs: of all, we must continually encounter the most vital essence of "they" for "they" include bʊth Our "straight" associates and friends in close or distant society as well as our brothers of our particular persuasion. Life and living simply can not exist in a vacumn. We are reasonably expected to move through all manner and facets of society and social contacts in our daily lives no matter how "private" our "own world" may be.

There, would not be a Soul amongest us who would be so foolish as to admit that s/he would no wish him/self TOGETHER WITH HIS/ HER FRIEND to be ACCEPTED. If "push-comes-to-shove" and we are not, then we can turn "sour grapes" and say we don': NEED "them" anyway. Many of us unfortunately have gone this route, yet, undoubtedly with the poignant, inner yearning that one day we might/could be accepted (and acceptable) in the eyes of society. We MUST "interact"-to accept and reject as well as TO BE accepted and rejected.

Personally speaking. I have found the most bizarre circumstances evolving from an Interracial relationship to be NOT the "acceptance" by the "straigh!" community reaction of our own Brethern. Senses of values appear distorted in the most incongruous and inexplicable man. ner. For, where one would (by Nature) anticipate acceptance, one (we) have encountered ceptance would be least likely out there amongest thos "straight people" -we find it with but a modicum of reservation.

When I am in the company of another "white" friend"without delving into the paranoia which from time to-time (I wonder what he or she is thinking about us two together, the leers, the abiguous innuendo, the snickers heard behind one's back, etc) pervades us all there could be little doubt that the "straigh:" members of

our community are quite facile to put "one-and-one" together and come up with something MORE THAN two associates. "Don't you know they're 'you-know-what" etc., etc. ad nauseum.

Yet, when I am with my Black "friend" it would "appear" for all pretext, according to the attitudes exhibited by the "straigh:" society." that I am in the company of a member of the "opposite" sex. "Acceptance" is seemingly universal in appeal. Paradoxically, the Black mate appears 50 strikingly-different from me as not to cause a single tingle of reservation-except in the most bigoted mind (a subject with which this article does not relate) My Black friend and I have always appreciated this feeling of acceptance though we make no over: effort to signal our relationship goes beyond their attitude/acceptance of a "friend."

Conversely, moving into the "Inner Circle" of those of our persuasion we find the very attitudes, actions and reaction which we would normally have expected from the "straight" contingent. but NEVER from within "our very own." The most prevalen: attitude is: "Well, we are certainly happy to know for certain that he is one of us, but why in God's name did he have to choose him!!!" (Here. again, rear the ugly parallels which so dominate the inter-racial "straight" marriages) The myriad of apologetic repertoire ensue: "It's not me, of course but what would "so-and-so" think! ..."Of

MGRAND OPENINGS MOUR NEW MESMAURANTE

ARABIA DIABLE

ASALTEMBER

CAMEL

1710 MADISON AVE TOLEDO, OHIO

T Complex